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Yo Mama is so Old... Jokes
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Yo mama is so old that her birth certificate says "expired" on it.

Yo mama is so old that that when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo mama is so old that I told her to act her own age, and she died.

Yo mama is so old that she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

Yo mama is so old that she co-wrote the Ten Commandments.

Yo mama is so old that her social security number is 1.

Yo mama is so old that her birth certificate is written in Roman numerals.

Yo mama is so old that she has Adam and Eve's autographs.

Yo mama is so old that she has an autographed bible.

Yo mama is so old she remembers when the Mayans published their calendar.

Yo mama is so old that when she farts, dust comes out.

Yo mama is so old that she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.

Yo mama is so old that the candles cost more than the birthday cake.

Yo mama is so old that she drove a chariot to high school.

Yo mama is so old that she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.

Yo mama is so old that she DJ'd at the Boston Tea Party.

Yo mama is so old that she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Yo mama is so old that she baby-sat for Jesus.

Yo mama is so old that she knew Mr. Clean when he had an afro.

Yo mama is so old that she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.

Yo mama is so old that when God said "Let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.

Yo mama is so old that she needed a walker when Jesus was still in diapers.

Yo mama is so old that when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.

Yo mama is so old that she learned to write on cave walls.

Yo mama is so old that her memory is in black and white.

Yo mama is so old that she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible.

Yo mama is so old that she planted the first tree at Central Park.

Yo mama is so old that she sat next to Jesus in third grade.

Yo mama is so old that she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Yo mama is so old that she knew Cap'n Crunch while he was still a private.

Yo mama is so old that she called the cops when David and Goliath started to fight.

Yo mama is so old that when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.

Yo mama’s so old, when she breast feeds, people mistake her for a fog machine.

Yo mama is so old that when she was young rainbows were black and white.

Yo mama is so old that she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

Yo mama is so old that she owes Jesus a dollar.

Yo mama so fat and old she sat on a toy airplane and invented the jet.

Yo Mama's so old, the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.

Yo mamma's so old she still drives her Model T.

Yo Mamma’s so old, she grew up with the Flintstones!

Yo Mamma’s so old she stripped at Abraham Lincoln’s bachelor party

Yo mamma’s so old she dated George Washington in high school.

Yo mamma’s so old her butt crack sealed.

Yo mamma’s like a fluorescent light bulb, she’s old but she gets the job done.

Yo mamma’s so old she sued Google for naming there search engine after her age.

Yo mamma’s so old she doesn't have a camel toe, she has a chicken gizard

Yo mama's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.

Yo mama so old she has to oil all her joints with WD-40.

Yo mama so old her first Christmas was the first Christmas!

Yo momma so old, she has to see a DINO-cologist.

Yo mama's so old, she used to baby-sit Yoda.

Yo mama so old, her last name was "Osaurus".

Yo mama is so old that she ran track with dinosaurs.

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