Yo mama so old her first job was as Cain and Abel's babysitter.
Yo momma so fat, she was the whale who swallowed Jonah.
Yo mama so fat not even Jesus could lift her spirits
Yo Mama's so ugly that when Satan saw her, he said "This must be my punishment" and went to church for a whole year.
Yo mamma so fat when she sat on the bible Jesus came begging her to set his people free
Yo mama is so ugly that, when she steps up to the pearly gates, Saint Peter will have locked them!
Yo mama so ugly she couldn't find a priest to officiate her wedding.
Yo mama so poor when she heard about the Last Supper she thought she was running out of food stamps
Yo mama so Buddhist, I gave her a vacuum for Christmas and she returned it because it had "too many attachments"
Yo mama's butt cheeks are so big, even Moses couldn't part them.
Yo mama such a bad christian, the only thing holy about her is the Swiss cheese in her fridge.
Yo mama so old she planted the apple tree in The Garden of Eden!
Yo mama so old the Bible is her yearbook.
Yo mama so ugly Moses regretted not adding an 11th commandment "Thou shall not look at your mother"
Yo momma so old, she knows which Testament is more accurate.
Yo Mama so old she was one of Solomon's concubines.
Yo mama is so ugly she chased the devil to church.
Yo momma so chatty ever the pastor tries to avoid her.
Yo momma so stupid, when you told her you were lookin’ for enlightenment, she bought you a desk lamp.
Yo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean.
Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo mama so old she got her bible signed by jesus
Yo mama so old she dated john the baptist
Yo mama so tall she did a back flip and kicked Jesus in the chin
Yo mama so old and horny, Mary Magdalene was her less scandalous sister.
Yo mommas so fat when she died and went to heaven Jesus said there was no room so then she went to hell and the devil said HELL NO.
Yo momma so cheap, even the Jews call her Jewish.
Yo mama so dumb I asked her if she was a catholic and she said "Yeah, I've loved cats all my life"
Yo momma so ugly, Jesus don’t forgive her when she forgets makeup.
Yo momma so fat, even Buddha himself thinks she could lose a couple pounds.
Yo momma so fat, she went back for thirds in the Eucharist line.
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